Linkspage
The most recent update was done on April 18, 2008. Links were added to articles that mention the estrangement between Alice Walker, author of The Color Purple, and her daughter, writer and feminist Rebecca Walker. Links to books by Rebecca Walker were added also. Recent additions are marked with a heart:
.
Page contents:
Those who have been estranged:
James McAvoy, actor, estranged from his father whose name is also James McAvoy.
James McAvoy's father begs for atonement from his estranged son, Sept. 1, 2007
Jennifer Aniston, actress on Friends, TV program. Was estranged from her mother, Nancy Aniston, after Nancy gave an interview to Hard Copy.
On Amazon.com: Nancy Aniston's book: From Mother and Daughter to Friends: A Memoir
On Softpedia.com: October 2005 Jennifer Aniston Made Peace With Her Mother.
Ruthann Aron
Successful wealthy politically ambitious woman who was charged with plotting to have her husband and an attorney who had testified against her in a court case killed. She was estranged from her father, a younger brother, and a once close college roommate. The Mystery of Ruthann Aron By Karl Vick, Washington Post Staff Writer, Sunday, February 15, 1998.
Roseanne Barr
Comedienne, actress, writer, was estranged from her parents whom she accused of abusing her as a child. She has been mentioned in several articles about repressed memories and the controversy surrounding memories of abuse that come up during therapy. In the biography on imdb.com it is reported that she ended the estrangement from her parents and siblings in 2004 and returned to using the name of Roseanne Barr.
"Childhood Memories? (Or the Power of Suggestion"?)
The Reality of Repressed Memories by Elizabeth F. Loftus in American Psychologist 1993, 48, 518-537, Copyright 1993, American Psychological Association
Biography for Roseanne on imdb.com
God and Man in Beverly Hills (Unfortunately the online article is now gone.) by Evgenia Peretz on VanityFair.com. Interesting article on the Kabbalah movement and its possible influence on the lives and decisions of several celebrities including Roseanne.
Drew Barrymore,
Actress, was estranged from her mother, Jaid Barrymore, for 10 years, an estrangement that ended around the time that Drew was in the movie Riding in Cars with Boys.
She had also been estranged at times from her father, John Drew Barrymore, son of acting legend John Barrymore. Drew's father died on Nov. 29, 2004. The link to his Dec. 1, 2004 obituary (which includes some interesting statements by Drew about her father) in the Washington Post.
Salon.com 1999 Amy Reiter Column which refers to the estrangement with Jaid.
Salon People | The purse of the Barrymores
Kim Basinger.
Her feelings about her mother are mentioned in the online article that is very hard on mothers.
Halle Berry: On anecdote.com. Estranged from her father.
Harvey Brown.
His brother, Steven Brown, filed a civil suit in 1999 for the wrongful death of his parents against Harvey Brown. Their parents were murdered in 1997. Harvey Brown had been estranged from his father and was suspected of being involved in their deaths. The police had not had sufficient evidence to bring charges. The brothers are estranged from each other.
New York Magazine article in 2000 about the Brown murder case
Juanita Castro, estranged from her brother, Fidel Castro, since 1963.
On CNN: August 3, 2006. Sister says Castro getting better.
On Cubanet.org: Nov. 24, 1998: "Castro's Sister May Write a Book." by Patricia Maldonado, Associated Press.
On fiu.net: Nov. 27, 1997: "Castro's Sister Pays Respect to Exile Leader", Reuters article.
Tom Cruise: Dad Abused Me Yahoo News, April 5, 2006
Kit Culkin: The Official Website
Father of Macauley Culkin. Estranged from his children. Site includes blog and forum. To read complete entries, pdf downloads are available.
Mike Danton, hockey player, estranged from his family & charged with plotting to hire a hit man. An article by Kevin Allen of USA Today tells Danton's tale of woe.
"Family Blames Agent for Estrangement" by Kevin Allen, USA Today, April 22, 2004
Hockey player Mike Danton charged with plotting to hire a hit man to kill an acquaintance who is alleged to be Danton's agent.
Rudolf and Adi Dassler, estranged brothers who founded separate sportsware companies: Puma and Adidas.
May 20, 2006 article from Mirror.Co.UK: DRIBBLING RIVALRY: EXCLUSIVE HOW BROTHERS' BITTER FEUD LAUNCHED WORLD CUP'S RIVAL FOOTBALL BOOT GIANTS By Nick Webster
Bette Davis: Estranged from her daughter, B.D. Hyman. Responded to B.D.'s writings in "This 'N That" in 1987.
On Wikipedia: Bette Davis
B.D. Hyman, daughter of Bette Davis, estranged from her mother after B.D. wrote her first book, My Mother's Keeper.The link is about B.D. Hyman's 2nd Book, Narrow is the Way.
B.D. Hyman Ministry B.D. Hyman's website for her ministry.
Stardust: The Bette Davis Story, a 2006 TV documentary. LA Weekly "From Vamp to Camp" online article.
Miles Davis: Estranged from two sons, Gregory Davis and Miles Davis, Jr.
Dark Magus: The Jekyll & Hyde Life Of Miles Davis by Gregory Davis, reviewed in "Sketches in Pain" by Rob Harvilla in the Village Voice online, Nov. 27, 2006.
Patti Davis estranged from her parents after publication of her novel: A House of Secrets. Reconciled in 1993.:
The American Experience, PBS "The Reagan Children" written by Julie Wolf.
Article: "Ex-First Daughter Talks about... "
Tom DeLay. House Majority Leader.
Estranged from his mother, two brothers, and sister. The link is to a copy of an article titled "Absolute Truth" by Peter Perl that appeared in the Washington Post on May 13, 2001.
"Absolute Truth" by Peter Perl, May 13, 2001
A second url which has the text of "Absolute Truth" in the event that the Washington Post link becomes outdated: "Absolute Truth"
Gerard Depardieu estranged from his son, Guillaume.
"At the moment, we have no ties. I cut things off because I no longer want to be the wall, or the trash bin where one dumps anything one wants," the 54-year-old Depardieu said, calling his son "very difficult, incorrigible."
Joe Dimaggio
Joe Dimaggio Obituaries & Biographies Joe Dimaggio and his son, Joe Dimaggio, Jr. were said to be estranged for many years as the time of Joe Sr.'s death.
Richard Ben Cramer chats about his book, 'Joe DiMaggio: The Hero's Life' October 25, 2000 on cnn.com
From the Cramer interview: Richard Ben Cramer: "Joe was estranged from almost all his family. He didin't speak for years with his older brother Vince (also an outfielder, in the National League), and he similarly froze out Dominic, his youngest brother, who played center field for the Red Sox. Joe was also estranged from his only child, Joe DiMaggio, Jr., who in fact drifted, homeless and addicted, into a wanderer's life. While the old man was making a quarter-million dollars per weekend, signing baseballs, Junior was living in a dumpster in California."
Joe Dimaggio, Jr., Article about the relationship between son and father on the PBS site.
Eminem: estranged from his mother and other relatives.
On Salon.com: Eminem's Dirty Secrets
Sydney Ethridge, a man who was known in the San Diego area for his activism against the use of lethal force by police during arrests.
Ethridge was estranged from his father for years, an estrangement that was resolved with the assistance of a TV talk show host, Larry Elder, who brought them together again. After appearing on The Larry Elder show, Ethridge and his two sisters went to their father's home. After speaking with his father for hours Ethridge died that same night in his sleep at his father's home. The story is told by San Diego Union-Tribune Staff Reporter David E. Graham: "An estrangement, and a life, end: TV talk show got father, son together". Oct. 6, 2004
"This show really struck a chord with me because I had a similar experience with my own father," Elder said. "He and I literally did not speak for almost 10 years. We reconciled years ago, and now we're the best of friends."
Mia Farrow, estranged from adopted daughter Soon-Yi.
On The Independent: June 2, 2006, "My Faith Helps Me Through Hard Times"
Mark Felt, of "Deep Throat" fame. Estranged from and later reconciled with his daughter.
Online USA Today article: Deep Inside Deep Throat
Alina Fernandez, estranged from her father, Fidel Castro.
On Wolfman Productions: Castro's Daughter, Alina Fernandez
On Amazon: Castro's Daughter: An Exile's Memoir of Cuba by Alina Fernandez Revuelta
Prince Fielder, baseball player, estranged from his father, Cecil Fielder, baseball player.
No Prince when it comes to his father. September 26, 2007
Fielder hits 50th, Cubs fall closer. September 25, 2007
Adam Yahiye Gadahn: American born in 1978 with family in California. Estranged from his family and involved with Islamists who are virulently anti-American. He appears in anti-American videos that are broadcast around the world by the media. He is being sought by the FBI.
All About Adam Gadahn by Michelle Malkin
Edward Gingerich. In 1993 he became famous for being the first Amishman in history convicted of homicide. He killed his wife. He was diagnosed with schizophrenia. In April 2007 he allegedly kidnapped his estranged teenaged daughter who had been living with her grandparents for the past 14 years.
Report releases details of Gingerich disappearance, April 20, 2007, The Meadville Tribune
Edward Gingerich Allegedly Kidnaps His Estranged Daughter By David Lohr, April 21, 2007
Police jail 2 relatives as they search for missing Amish girl, AP, April 22, 2007
Gingerich charged after missing daughter found, April 22, 2007, The Meadville Tribune
Rudolph Giuliani, former Mayor of NYC and running for U.S. president, is estranged from his son and daughter who have no plans to assist him in his campaign.
Giuliani Estranged from His 2 Children. March 5, 2007. CBS news article. From the article: "Giuliani's 21-year-old son, Andrew, told The New York Times that he would be too busy working on his golf game to participate in his father's presidential campaign."
"Giuliani's Blended Family" by Randal D. Archibald on the The Caucus, Political Blogging from the NY Times, March 5, 2007. The response comments are interesting too.
David Hale and Milas Hale II, brothers:
"Brother on brother" by Murray Waas
From Salon.com: "Whitewater witness David Hale attempted to suborn perjury by his own brother by asking him to falsely corroborate illegal acts by President Clinton." Also quoting from the Salon.com article: "Six people close to the Hale brothers confirmed that they had become estranged from each other in 1993, when David allegedly pressured Milas to lie. Three of those people said that the estrangement was directly related to Milas' refusal to do anything improper to assist David in his effort to avoid accountability for his Whitewater crimes.""The mark of Cain: a tale of two brothers" by Murray Waas.
Justine Henin, tennis player. She had been estranged from her family but has reconciled.
Heart on her sleeve, June 12, 2007, by Stephanie Myles, The Gazette.
French Open: Family Reunion Caps Henin's Dream Weekend, June 11, 2007, by Howard Fendrich, AP, on The Albuqurque Tribune.
Henin shares victory with family, June 10. 2007 article by the NY Times News Service, Paris, on the Taipei Times.
Henin opens up after emotional win, June 9, 2007, by Pritha Sarkar, article on The Guardian Unlimited.
Justine Henin Interview, June 10, 2007 on tennis-x.com
"Wimbledon the missing peace in a tumultous life story" Interview by Donald McRae in The Guardian, June 20, 2006.
John H. Holliday, D.D.S., better known as Doc Holliday. Estranged from his father.
Found the Doc Holliday estrangement reference online in the description of his biography: Doc Holliday: A Family Portrait
by Karen Holliday Tanner.
Sir Anthony Hopkins, actor. Estranged from his daughter, Abigail Hopkins, singer, songwriter, and actress.
"I hardly ever hear from her," he said. "She probably has good reasons. I guess we are estranged. I hope she is well. She is too busy and has to do her own thing. I think she is in England somewhere. Life is life. You get on with it."
From online article/interview (April 14, 2006)with Abigail Hopkins: Her Dark Materials by Olga Craig on Telegraph.co.uk
Actress Angelina Jolie estranged from her father, actor Jon Voight.
On Entertainmentwise.com: Angelina Jolie Is A 'Messed Up Chick' No More, Good for her... By: Lowri Williams on 4/27/2006
Jon Voight Is Still Estranged From Daughter Angelina Jolie, The Post Chronicle, April 22, 2007
David & Ted Kaczynski
Brothers, David & Ted Kaczynski, Unabomber, are estranged. The relationship between Ted and his family had already been strained and distant prior to the discovery that Ted was the Unabomber. After David turned his brother in, Ted became even more estranged from his brother and his mother.
Articles on Ted Kaczynski at unabombertrial.com
Alicia Keys mends fragile relationship with estranged father. Article on femalefirst.com
Norma Khouri, author of Forbidden Love, a book that was supposed to be the true story of the murder of her friend, Dalia, the victim in an "honor killing" in Jordan.
Norma claimed that she had grown up in Jordan and Dalia had been her longtime childhood friend and business partner. In the summer of 2004 the book was exposed as a hoax after a newspaper did an investigation of the facts in the book.
Norma Khouri turned out to be an American citizen who grew up in Chicago where she was at the time of the incidents detailed in the book. She is estranged from her mother, Asma Bagain, who hasn't seen her since 2000 when Norma and her husband, John Toliopolous disappeared. The book, Forbidden Love, was particularly popular in Australia where Khouri had been given refuge when she was thought to be in need of protection due to her knowledge of the alleged murder. There has been no evidence that Dalia or Dalia's family ever existed.
NY Times article: Norma Khouri & other literary hoaxes in Australia
Eppie Lederer - better known as Ann Landers.
I don't know how I missed having Ann Landers and Dear Abby, the twin sister advice columnists, in here for so long! Such an interesting and celebrated estrangement! Although at the time of Eppie Lederer's death, the estrangement between the sisters was apparently resolved. However, all does not appear to be well between their advice columnist daughters, Margo Howard and Jeanne Phillips, as you will see if you read the Schmich article that appeared in the Chicago Tribune. I have found several worthwhile links on the sisters, more for Eppie (Ann) than for Pauline (Abby). What hope is there for the rest of us if even twin sister professional advice givers can't get along?
On CBSNews.com, "Advice Columnists, Heal Thyselves" CHICAGO, June 27, 2002
"Dear Ann" By Carol Felsenthal, February 2003 issue of Chicago. Long interesting article about Eppie Lederer's life
Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin.
The celebrated comedian, actor, and telethon fundraiser for Muscular Dystrophy, has written a book on his relationship and estrangement with straight man, actor, and singer Dean Martin. Dean and Me: (A Love Story)
by Jerry Lewis
Lindsay Lohan: Estranged from her father.
Estrangement from dad partially to blame for problems, Feb. 9, 2008
Actress Lindsay Lohan reunited with estranged dad, Sept. 11, 2007
Lohan's New Warning to Dad, NY Post, March 28, 2007
Hell Hath No Fury Like a Showbiz Father Scorned, Michael Lohan’s lament By Greg Williams on nymag.com
Courtney Love. Estranged from her father, Hank Harrison, and her mother, Linda Carroll.
Love Runs Wild, Court TV Interview with Hank Harrison, April 16, 2004
Seattle Weekly: March 22, 2006 Article: Courtney's Family Curse by Tim Appelo: Estranged from her daughter Courtney Love, Linda Carroll went on a journey to find her own mother and wrote a book: Her Mother's Daughter: A Memoir of the Mother I Never Knew and of My Daughter, Courtney Love
Her Mother's Daughter, the website about the book, Her Mother's Daughter by Linda Carroll, Courtney's mother.
Jenna MacFarlane: Estranged by her family, Jenna advertises in the newspaper for a new family and finds one! She has set up a website for people who want to find new families.
In Glamour Magazine, February 2007
Jenna's website: www.familywanted.com
Jena Malone (Click on the second link for Demi Moore for some information about Jena Malone and her mother.)
Manganaro: The brothers Salvatore and James Dell'Orto who each own a restaurant bearing the name Manganaro on Ninth Ave. in New York City. The restaurants are next to each other. In online accounts of their estrangement and court battles it is reported that they have not spoken to each other in over 25 years.
The dispute was apparently over the use of the family name Manganaro and the name "Hero Boy" for advertising purposes. After learning of the estranged brothers recently, I was in NYC and discovered the restaurants. I had lunch in Manganaro's Gourmet Foods and intend to try Manganaro's Hero Boy in the future. Lunch was great! I spoke to the owner to let him know that I enjoyed his restaurant but didn't tell him about what brought me to his restaurant.
Links to the websites of each restaurant are accessed by clicking on the respective images below. The statement of nonaffiliation is from the menu of Manganaro's Foods and is also posted on a sign outside by the sidewalk and on signs in several places in the restaurant.
488 9th Ave:
On the menu it reads:
492 9th Ave.:
Online articles about the two restaurants:
Manganaro's Gourmet Foods, 488 9th Ave., NYC
Manganaro's Hero Boy, 492 9th Ave., NYC
Jester's Courtroom: Oh Brother! (Source: The New York Times September 27, 2002) (Scroll down in list of articles till you get to "Oh Brother".)
Tommy Martin, football all-star.
"No Stopping Him" by Jerry Soifer, the Press-Enterprise (PE.com)
Rona Maynard and Joyce Maynard, sisters and writers who have had a troubled relationship which is now blossoming after they had stopped speaking for several years. Online articles giving each sister's perspective on their relationship are on their websites.
Rona Maynard's website: ronamaynard.com
Joyce Maynard's website: joycemaynard.com
Online article, Family matters: take 3, on Rona Maynard's book, My Mother's Daughter: A Memoir
which was published in September 2007.
Boxers Floyd Mayweather, Jr. and Sr., son and and father, were reported to have reconciled after an estrangement of several years and Floyd, Sr. was training Floyd, Jr. but then Jr. replaced Sr. as trainer with Sr.'s estranged brother, Roger. So it's unclear whether the reconciliation has held or not.
Portrait of the artist as a brilliant brat by D. Allan Kerr on Seacoastonline.com, Dec. 14, 2007
Only Floyd Mayweather, Sr. loses on May 5, 2007 by Ralph Rimpell on hotboxingnews.com
Demi Moore. Estranged from her mother but reconciled prior to her mother's death.
Online article by Kat Giantis about several mother daughter relationships that include either temporary or permanent estrangements. Includes reference to Virginia Guynes, Demi Moore's mother, but also talks about several other mothers who were less than stellar.
Melba Moore Actress and singer estranged from her daughter.
Arun Nayar, husband to actress Elizabeth Hurley. His father estranged himself after becoming insulted and angry over his son and daughter-in-law's treatment of him at their wedding.
"Elizabeth Hurley's Bad Big Day" by Gina Serpe. April 11, 2007
Madalyn Murray O'Hair, estranged from son William, an evangelist.
Will was estranged also from his brother, John Garth, and his daughter, Robin. The disappearance in the summer of 1995 of Madalyn Murray, her son, John Garth Murray, and her granddaughter, Robin Murray O'Hair, became the subject of much speculation about their fate. Their bodies were found in 2001. All had been murdered.
On Crime Magazine: The Murder of Madalyn Murray O'Hair: America's Most Hated Woman by Lona Manning
On Wikipedia: Madalyn Murray O'Hair
On Who2: Madalyn Murray O'Hair
Sharon Osbourne. Estranged from her father, Don Arden, for twenty years after she took over the career of Ozzie Osbourne. Reconciled with her father in 2002. He died in July 2007.
Music mogul Don Arden dies. July 24, '07. Times Online.
Sharon Osbourne's father passes away. July 24, '07. On Yahoo! Music.
Linda Owens and Rebecca Owens.
Rebecca has estranged herself from her mother, Linda, after learning as an adult that Tookie Williams was the man who murdered her father when she was 8 years old. She had thought that her father's murderer had been put to death years ago. She hadn't known his identity until 2001. Linda acknowledges that it was a mistake not to tell her daughters the truth about their father's murder from the beginning.
A repellent individual who estranged himself from his father and sister due to his religious objections to his father marrying a divorcee. In later life Phelps was estranged by several of his thirteen children. Phelps, a preacher, goes to military funerals and other gatherings where he carries signs that denigrate homosexuals. He hates Finns and Swedes among many others.
PRI-Cornell. Even a College & a Research Center have experienced estrangement!
This is an article about the resolution of an 80 year old estrangement between the Paleontological Research Institution (PRI) and Cornell: "Historic estrangement ends with PRI-Cornell affiliation agreement" By Roger Segelken
Eric Roberts: Estranged from his sister, actress Julia Roberts, his daughter, actress Emma Roberts, and his mother.
On Answers.com: Eric Roberts
On Wikipedia.com: Eric Roberts
On imdb.com: Julia Roberts' Niece Inks Another Deal
On imdb.com: Eric Roberts' lengthy filmography & bio.
Julia Roberts has been estranged from her older brother, Eric.
On Wikipedia: Julia Roberts
Meg Ryan has been estranged from her mother, Susan Ryan Jordan, who has written a book: The Immune Spirit: A Story of Love, Loss and Healing; One Woman's Triumph over Breast Cancer, from the Mother of Meg Ryan
Laura Schlesinger, radio talk show host, estranged from her mother, Yolanda Schlesinger, who was found dead in her own home in late 2002. She had been dead for some time before she was found.
Deathwatch information on Yolanda Schlesinger
Bellyfuzz.com on Dr. Laura and her mother's death
April 9, 2003 Smoking Gun: Coroner's report states that mother died of natural causes and may have been dead for 2 months prior to being found.
Dr. Laura on Family Estrangements, April 1, 2003
The Wayback Machine: Archive of Dr. Laura's website.
General Daniel E. Sickles, a Civil War Veteran who had been at Gettysburg.
A New York Times article of May 4, 1914 refers to a 29 year estrangement with his son, Stanton, that was resolved in 1914 at the time of his death. (Long after I found this link and included it here, I discovered that a book had been written about Sickles. The book's title is American Scoundrel: The Life of the Notorious Civil War General Dan Sickles
by Thomas Keneally.) NY Times article link.
Anna Nicole Smith. Was estranged from both of her parents, a sister, an aunt and uncle. Mentions of the estrangements were found in the following articles.
SFGate.com, Nov.2005: Anna Nicole Smith Photos to Jeopardize Court Battle
USA Today News, Sept. 12, 2006: Anna Nicole's Son Found Dead.
SFGate.com, Sept. 2006: Anna Nicole's mom begs for funeral reunion.
Donna Hogan, half-sister to Anna Nicole Smith, tells all on CBS News.
Muriel Sparks, author of The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie, died at 88 in April 2006. She was estranged from her sculptor/painter son, Robin.
Companion shelves 'unfair' Spark biography By Tim Walker, Mandrake Editor, Sunday Telegraph
Britney Spears, estranged from her mother, Lynne Spears reported in June 2007. A reconciliation has been reported in several news reports in October 2007. One is linked below. (The related links are to recent news items. Recent news links usually do not remain good for long.)
Sister stands by Britney Spears, Oct. 10, 2007. The Daily Telegraph.
K-Fed Refusing to Sign Spears Divorce Papers, on wxyz.com, July 2, 2007
Britney Spears Family Snub, on Monsters & Critics, July 2, 2007
Britney Spears hands her estranged mom documents, June 29, 2007 on TDS.
Britney to Mom: You Got Served! June 29, 2007, on dose.com
Britney Spears Official Website
Britney Spears Confusing Messages to Mom, Love Her or Hate Her? June 26, 2007, on The National Ledger
US Magazine article with interview with Britney Spears' mom, Lynne Spears, June 14, 2007. Reconciliation reported in this article as of June 10. But apparently it didn't last.
Britney Spears' Family 'Disappointed' in her, May 29, 2007, on dose.com
Phil Spector, estranged from adopted son, Louis Spector.
Prosecutor promises to reveal 'real' violent Phil Spector during murder trial, May 2007 by Harriet Ryan on CourtTV.
On Inside Edition: Phil Spector's son speaks out about bizarre upbringing. May 15, 2007
Tori Spelling, estranged from father, Aaron Spelling, now deceased, from her mother, Candy, for 9 months and also from ex-husband, Charlie Shanian. Reconciling with her mother, Candy, in the spring of 2007.
April 9, 2007: Associated Press: Tori Spelling: Reconciliation with Mother was Mutual.
March 30, 2007: Candy Spelling "Reconciling with Tori 'Feels Great!'" by Courtney Rubin and Scott Huber
On MonstersandCritics.com: July 7, 2006, The Candy and Tori Spelling Saga
On TMZ: July 26, 2006: Tori to Mom - You Cheaped Out My Wedding
On SFgate.com: The Daily Dish: Tori Spelling (pages of articles)
Jelaila Starr, psychic counselor. Article on a Family Reunion and her suggestions for how to make it work.
Alice Walker, author of The Color Purple, estranged from her daughter, writer and feminist Rebecca Walker. Alice Walker was also estranged from her father.
by Rebecca Walker.
by Rebecca Walker
Karma Wilson's Story:
An online article, "Karma Wilson: A Story of Resolution" written by a woman who reestablished contact with her mother and, subsequently, her grandmother through the internet after a 10 year estrangement. A story that gives hope for resolution.
Disorders that can be catalysts for estrangement
Note: My listing of a link does NOT mean that I agree with the information and opinions found at each site or that any of these sites will be helpful to anyone. I am not a mental health professional nor an expert on any of the conditions or situations mentioned below.
Asperger's Syndrome
Asperger's Syndrome, Asperger's Disorder or AS is an autism spectrum disorder. I heard of Asperger's for the first time that I can recall in 2007. I have read only a little bit about it. Some adults with AS have been in the news recently, having learned for the first time that they have Aspergers. These are people who are married with kids and professions and the whole nine yards. As I read about AS, I'm thinking of people I know who have some eccentric behaviors and histories. I have been wondering whether . . . ? The big "hmmmmmmmmmmmm?" My father-in-law perhaps? You'd have to go some distance to find a more reserved person than him! Yet in his profession he was brilliant. Reserved, withdrawn, quiet and smart. Also odd and also estranged from his parents and siblings at his choice. One of the symptoms is social awkwardness and a lack of empathy. Do you know someone who is reserved? Socially awkward but smart? Clumsy? With poor handwriting? Are you estranged from them? Are they you?
- Your Child's Disorder May be Yours, Too by Benedict Carey, Dec. 9, 2007, NY Times. (May require registration to read article but registration should be free.) Fascinating article! Worth the trouble of registering if registering is required.
From Page 2 of the NY Times article:
"John Halpern, 76, a retired physicist living in Massachusetts, began to review his own life not long after hearing a radio interview with an expert on Asperger’s syndrome. He immediately recognized himself as a textbook case, he said, and decided to call his daughter, whom he hadn’t spoken to in 10 years. He wanted to apologize, he said, “for my inadequacy as both a father and a husband to her mother.”
But as soon as he started explaining, he said, his daughter cut him off. “That’s Asperger’s,” she told him. “She knew,” he said. “She had been looking into it herself, wondering if in fact I had it.”
Mr. Halpern said that over several calls they shared feelings and agreed “to work on our new relationship and see how far we can take it.” The two now talk regularly, at least once a week, he said."
- Wikipedia article on Asperger Syndrome
- Autism, Asperger's Syndrome, and the Autism Spectrum on aspergerssyndrome.org
- O.A.S.I.S.: Online Asperger Syndrome Information and Support
- Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's
by John Elder Robison. This is not about estrangement as far as I know but it is about having Asperger's Syndrome and being diagnosed with it relatively late in life. Robison is the brother of Augusten Burroughs who is the author of Running with Scissors: A Memoir
, an account of his dysfunctional family. Burroughs' book was made into a movie.
- Google Search Results on the words: asperger's syndrome.
Bipolar Disorder.
This disorder can result in impulsive decisions and behavior, extreme irritability, and paranoia. There is a high risk of suicide in people who have this disorder due to the impulsivity and the despair when a sufferer has a recurrence of depression. It is the kind of disorder where people act before they think.
Information on Bipolar disorder at the National Institute of Mental Health
Bipolar Disorder on Psych Central.
Catching a Darkness: Glimpses of my Sister's Mania. Catching a Darkenss is Boris Dolin's online memorial in photographs and words to Jessica Dolin, his sister, who committed suicide in 2003. The site offers an intimate window on the interior life of a young woman with bipolar disorder and her family's attempts to help her despite her frequent rejections of assistance and her inability to see them as being helpful when she was in the depths of her illness.In 2002 she wrote The Holy Book of Illusion: A Journey Through Mania which was her account of what it feels like to suffer from bipolar disorder.
Recovery Through Art: The website of Mara McWilliams. From the home page of her site: "Mara is in recovery with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder, panic disorder, and anorexia. Mara's ultimate goal is to educate our society that through proper diagnosis, treatment, therapy, love, support, and understanding, recovery is possible."
Mara is an advocate for recovery through involvement in the arts, particularly through visual arts and poetry. Two of her poems are included on the Poetry Page.Margaret Trudeau's recent diagnosis with bipolar disorder and longterm struggle with mental illness is described in this online article: "Margaret Trudeau: Quitting pot eased mental illness," Feb. 13, 2007, National Post.
From the article: "It is not uncommon for sufferers to self-medicate with alcohol or marijuana, she said, rather than reach out to family and friends or seek medical assistance."On Bipolar Disorder Daily News Blog: Free Online Game to Reduce Social Stress, Improve Self Esteem.
Pendulum Resourses: Bipolar Disorder news, information, and support.
Surviving and Thriving with a Dual Diagnosis, by Lindy Fox. Her personal account of experiencing both bipolar disorder and alcoholism that resulted in many years of torment and struggle for her and her family. She currently works on research on dually diagnosed people like herself at the Dartmouth Psychiatric Research Center in New Hampshire.
Crazy Meds: the good, the bad,and the funny of neurological medications - interesting site about meds and mental health written in an entertaining manner by someone who has been there, done that, and sounds like he (or she?) knows of what he speaks.
Delusional Disorder. Persecutory Type, previously called Paranoid Disorder. May be one of the symptoms of Bipolar Disorder.
Borderline Personality Disorder:
Excellent book: Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care about Has Borderline Personality Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder
BPD Central. Description from the site: a list of resources for people who care about someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD).
Depression can be triggered by any kind of loss including the loss of someone through estrangement. Depression can also be a factor in causing a person to isolate and estrange themselves from others.
Depression: Dr. Ivan's Depression Central
McMan's Depression and Bipolar site
Defeat Depression: From the website: "Defeatdepression.org is an initiative of the Sir Robert Mond Memorial Trust, a mental health charity registered in the UK." and "Through Defeatdepression.org's website, publications, conferences and the development of support groups, it provides accessible information, education, support and better understanding of the most common, yet serious, mental health problems."
Narcissistic Personality Disorder has some similar elements to Borderline Personality Disorder in the person's self centered approach to relationships.
People with NPD tend to be very difficult to have a relationship with and they tend to cut people off who express any criticism of them. They don't do well in therapy for this and other reasons. They have difficulty admitting imperfection and would see that suffering from NPD would be an imperfection. This means that they are in a Catch-22 situation where they hate to admit imperfection, especially an ailment that affects the mind, and NPD is an ailment that affects the mind. They are caught in between a rock and a hard place where it comes to admitting imperfection.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) : "How to recognize a narcissist" by Joanna M Ashmun, 1998. Some of the most interesting reading that I've seen on NPD. Also has links to other useful sites and information on NPD.
Psychiatric Times Article: "Narcissistic Personality: A Stable Disorder or a State of Mind?" by Elsa Ronningstam, Ph.D. and John Gunderson, M.D., February 1996.
Narcissism: A Genetic Trait --Genetics of Personality Disorders
Note: While many normal people may relate to some of the characteristics described in a Personality Disorder, note that in the description of what constitutes a Personality Disorder that the difference between a Personality Disorder and a normal person is "that it does not affect most people's daily functioning to the same degree it might someone diagnosed with one of these disorders." Keeping that in mind might help readers not to suffer so much from "medical student's disease, where you read a list of symptoms and conclude that you and most of the people that you know are suffering from the ailment described.
For more on Personality Disorders, click on this link to Psych Central and scroll down in the page.
Schizophrenia: A devastating mental illness which can often be treated successfully with medication. But then sometimes the person won't take their medication.
Cults & Stockholm Syndrome
Some estrangements begin due to differences in religious beliefs and due to involvement in cults. The process of a person aligning themselves with a different group can be due to true interest in a new set of beliefs or it can be a more insidious process that results from someone setting themselves up as a dominating authority figure over others. Some people are more susceptible to this kind of influence than others. There are various explanations given for the resulting estrangements. The Stockholm Syndrome and Parental Alienation Syndrome are two.
The Battle for Your Mind Dick Sutphen's The Battle for Your Mind. A site that discusses brainwashing in our culture & cults - sometimes involved in estrangements. The Stockholm Syndrome is mentioned. I have found articles on the Stockholm Syndrome that interest me in that the Stockholm Syndrome sounds a lot like what occurs in Parental Alienation Syndrome and how an inexplicable estrangement can develop.
The Anatomy of Illusion by Pete Evans, The Door Magazine 2004. An interview with Rick Ross, head of the nonprofit The Rick A. Ross Institute for the Study of Destructive Cults, Controversial Groups, and Movements.
The Rick A. Ross Institute. Mission Statement: The Rick A. Ross Institute (RRI) of New Jersey is a nonprofit, tax-exempt 501(c)(3) organization devoted to public education and research. RRI's mission is to study destructive cults, controversial groups and movements and to provide a broad range of information and services easily accessible to the public for assistance and educational purposes.
The Foster Report on Scientology (scroll down on the linked page for references to Scientology being implicated in family estrangements.)
Steven Alan's Freedom of Mind Center, Cult Counselor and Mind control Expert
Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) refers to a type of alienation that may occur between children and one parent after a divorce, particularly after a bitter divorce.
A Directory to Information about PAS
Links to PAS information Divorceinfo.com
Parental Alienation: An information article on Wikipedia. ("Parental Alienation" differs from "Parental Alienation Syndrome" but is related.)
Support Groups & Resources
Learning to Forgive For Good. The website of Fred Luskin.
Grief Articles index This page of articles is connected to The Grief Recovery Handbook: The Action Program for Moving Beyond Death, Divorce, and Other Losses by John W. James and Russell Friedman, Harper Perennial, 1998. The book discusses the importance of dealing with grief. A workshop format is used.
Canadian site with a long list of resources on Grief and Bereavement.
Grandparents' Rights Article An article on guidelines for grandparents who want visitation rights.
Healing Estranged Relationships: H.E.R., a nonprofit organization in Dallas, Texas which offers discussion groups offline for women who are experiencing estrangement. There are plans to expand this group to other locations and also have a group for men. Quoting from a March 5, 2008 Dallas News article, Group helps heal wounds of child estrangement: "H.E.R. promises no happily-ever-after outcomes. Ms. Gray has accepted that she may never have a relationship with her daughter. But she said the support group helps her be a better mother to a younger adult daughter."
Twinless Twins A website which offers support resources for twins who have lost their twin through separation, estrangement or death.
False Memory Syndrome Foundation Website False memories have caused many cruel unjust estrangements.
Online Discussion Groups
Dr. Joshua Coleman's Blog: "When Parents Hurt". A blog begun in December 2006 in connection with Dr. Coleman's book When Parents Hurt: Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Grown Child Don't Get Along.
Heal and Forgive, author Nancy Richards' blog. Nancy posts about abuse, estrangement, forgiveness, reconciliation, and related issues. Nancy is the author of Heal & Forgive: Forgiveness in the Face of Abuse.
Message Boards on family issues on AARP website. A discussion board was begun in 2003 in connection with an article, Bury the Hatchet, by Barbara LeBey in the May-June 2003 issue of the AARP's magazine. The discussion continued for some time. However, the threads of that discussion are now lost. However, the discussion boards on the AARP site may be a good place to discuss estrangements.
Motherless Homepage A website that offers support to those who have lost their mother. Has links to message boards including Motherless3, a Yahoo! group for those who have lost their mother through abandonment, estrangement or other issues.
BPD Central (has links to discussion groups on Borderline Personality Disorder)
Note: Use caution with your personal identity when posting on an internet group. There is a chance that someone whom you didn't intend to see your posts may find them, even long after you wrote them. It is easy to take precautions to protect your identity.
Miscellaneous Links Relating to Estrangement:
The End of Strife: One woman's experience of high-conflict divorce and parental alienation: a blog about a bitter divorce and its effect on the relationships between a woman and her children.
A blog: Jan. 3, 2005: My Father didn't Call. A woman who has a father who it seems never fails to disappoint.
The Samuel Johnson Sound Bite Page: Estrangement A page of quotes by Samuel Johnson that all relate to the condition of Estrangement.
Interesting thread on an art discussion board about a painting that an artist did of his father from whom he is estranged.
